Shame, Guilt and Fear

Guilt and shame can rule your life – And so can living in fear.  Fear of other’s approval, fear of doing things “right”, fear of the consequences of actions from your past and how they have affected the others in your life that matter most.

It’s only through “freeing” yourself by accepting God’s love for you and then being able to begin to love “you” with all your scars and pain, guilt and shame that He does not care about once we’ve asked for forgiveness.  He is able to let it all be swept away and wants us to be able to let go of it as well, so that we can be free to enjoy our lives as we begin to love ourselves and others.

Some days it’s easier said than done, but with a little work and lots of patience with ourselves and others, it is possible to begin to “tell” the voices in our head to “go away” and leave us along – we will not continue to beat ourselves up!  We choose to move through forgiveness for ourselves and for the others who have brought us pain that we’re still trying to move away from.  

We must learn to “honor” ourselves, our wishes, our worth, that it’s ok to be who we are – even if it doesn’t “fit” the images we want to have of ourselves or the way we feel others see us.

“Self-talk” with such things as:  It’s ok to be me.  It’s ok to have fun.  No one is really paying attention anyway so why am I so worried about what “they think” (even though my mother must have said that a thousand times in my life to me!) – I’ll probably never see them again, or if I know them, it’s their problem what they think about me because I don’t have to answer to them.  This doesn’t mean I need to be rude to anyone – it just means that I don’t have to “care” about what everyone thinks of me and that’s a weight off of me and the expectations I have for “myself” to meet up to.

I just want to breath and start enjoying my life again without the “weight” of worry, guilt and shame!  It is a step I am endeavoring to maintain, each time I start to go “sideways”.

It doesn’t matter what our “go to” (also referred to as an addiction by many) is – the underlying issue is often an emotion that we struggle with and have dealt with for a long time.  It’s usually based in a fear of some kind and often something we don’t speak of with others, while very often either denying it to ourselves or actually not understanding that there is an underlying “thought process” that keeps us going in circles.

When we can accept ourselves, learn to not live from and by our emotions, but base our “worth / feelings about ourselves” from an understanding that we can love and accept ourselves – then we can start down a new path to freedom.  The other aspect of this is that God loves us as a father that really cares and when we can receive His love it makes all the difference in the world.  It’s taken me years to get there and I still fight it – but it’s amazing when we can really grasp it and find joy again and feel good about ourselves.

My prayers go with you as you take this journey with me.