Some days (hours / minutes) it is NOT easy to accept people for “where they are” when we so desperately want them to be at “another point / with another attitude / with better actions”.
And sometimes that is ourselves!
There are the “words of wisdom” that say – “that which we are the most critical of in another – is the issues that we have the most difficulty dealing with within ourselves”. Ouch!
This takes some real work and effort on both aspects. It’s hard to be kind, understanding and tolerant / compassionate with those who are making us crazy by their actions – or lack thereof!
Once we walk (talk) ourselves back down off that “high wire” of criticism and frustration, then it’s time to look at why we are so “mad” and exactly what we are “not” looking at inside us that mirrors the situation we are “stewing” about. This isn’t necessarily easy by any stretch of the imagination! Facing what it is that we’re unhappy about which “lives inside us” is difficult.
After we “face” what it is that is “not so nice” within us and what our frustrations with the other person is really based on, we need to move to our next step. Thus begins our “struggle” toward forgiveness and acceptance of what we can and do need to change within ourselves, along with the other part of the serenity prayer – to “accept that which we cannot change” about the person or individual we are aggravated with. Sometimes we have to just “leave” them and their issues with God and know that whatever we say or suggest may not (probably will not) make one iota of a difference so there is no need to waste our time and energy to “engage”. We are to just love them and trust God to deal with them and help us as well.
The best way I have found to “adjust” my attitude (which definitely needs some help) is through some physical exercise, a few scriptures or “positive” thoughts followed by the determination to “adjust” my “feelings” and reaction toward the other person as well to myself.
Is it easy? No!!
Is it worth it? Yes!!
It is amazing what kindness and compassion can do for our own soul and for our relationships with others.
It’s a soothing feeling when the shift comes where we are able to come to peace with others and within ourselves, giving love and acceptance for the “little” child that lives within each of us!
My “mantra / affirmations” to overcome my negative, critical and bad attitude (yes, we all have them toward others and ourselves) are:
Their (the person I’m grumbling about) attitude and choice are NOT MY Business!
And
My attitude and choices are NOT other people’s “business” to criticize and judge!
My attitude is between God and myself as He is the one who I answer to and the one that can and will help me adjust to become a more kind and loving individual.
