By shear willpower today I made the decision I was not going to “lose” another day to being depressed and not accomplish anything. I was not going to sit around being sad and feeling sorry for myself.
I chose to get up and made (forced) myself to focus on good things. I made up my mind I would find something I could do “for me” without anyone else’s help and that I could feel good about when I got done.
I need and want to get back in better physical shape, as well as emotionally and mentally get in a better place, so, I chose a small section of my yard and set out to get it cleaned up. Momentum kept me going, as it does “feed” one’s soul to get something accomplished and be able to see the results of its completion, along with knowing my body is “grateful” and will feel better as well.
Then I “journaled” a letter to someone I miss, shed a few tears, and turned my focused on becoming so happy and grateful that I had them in my life for the time they were with me, and how much joy they had brought me.
I moved myself back into finding “another” project to accomplish, even if it might seem small to someone else, I will know I am moving forward and making small progress (even if it feels like an inch at a time) toward a better mental place that can include love, joy, rest, and happiness again.
I can “re-start” another “phase” / part of my life that may not look exactly how I would like it to, at this point in time, but if I keep moving forward just one step and one goal at a time, I can develop another “adventure” and experiences that can bring joy and satisfaction in a different way than the past maybe, but nevertheless I can feel like I’m coming back alive again, moving forward to make a difference. Even if it’s just for my own mental well-being, I am learning God wants us to be happy and take care of ourselves. Sometimes, that’s a little hard to grasp when you’ve always tried to put others first as a parent, caretaker, provider and do all sorts of things for others. Now it’s time to do some of “those things” for “me”. It can feel strange but can also begin to bring a peace in a special way, especially when you know that even if there’s no one else to share any of your thoughts and feelings with – there is “someone” called God that does care. He does listen and He does send help and love through the Holy Spirit that can give us guidance when we stop to ask, and hear, along with a peace that isn’t possible through any other means whatsoever.
Results don’t happen “overnight” or “magically”, but small steps bring change and positive, good things into our lives, hearts and souls over the long haul.
Many blessings as you begin your “move” (no matter how small) toward a better place.
